First Day at School

That's exactly what last Tuesday felt like - the first day of school. It was a strange sensation to come back to a place that is the same, yet also so very different. Many things have changed since I was at the office last. When I left right before Thanksgiving, the modified 80/20 work week was just being implemented and it was the last day of work for all of the people who where laid off. They have since had a few more people leave and also implemented a new computer system. One of the partners also decided to take a leave of absense, so she was also gone begining last week. And to top it off, there was a new receptionist smiling at me when I walked through the doors. I had no cases, and even all my pending cases at the government where taken care of since I had been gone for so long. So it was like starting from scratch. And it was quiet. Between the people out for their day off, the reduced staff as well as the reduced work load, the office was flat out quiet. It was all very strange.

I spent the first day just reading my emails. Meagan had done a wonderful job keeping my inbox organized, so it was easy for me to get caught up on what I had missed. But it was a very disorienting day. I thought about Elliott constantly and how he was doing, but at the same time, I didn't want to call. I knew that it was going to be the hardest day for him (since he had to get used to eating from a bottle) and I didn't want to call and either interrupt a good feeding session or hear him crying (I was afraid that hearing him crying might push me over the edge). But Mary was awesome and knew exactly what I needed. She called, after she was able to get a few ounces into him and he was asleep, to let me know it was going well. In fact, Elliott did awesome. He realized about 1/2 way through the day that this was just how his milk was going to come and that I wasn't there. So he started eating on his own (vs. the slow process of squeezing some milk in his mouth and then him swallowing it) and by Wednesday, he was an old pro at the bottle. I knew this was going to be the case, but it was very reassuring when it actually happened.

The rest of the week flew by. It helped that it was only four days, but still I was glad when the week was finally over. By the end of the week, (not only was I exhausted,) I was briefed on the new computer system (although I guess everyone is really still learning it) and was assigned my first cases. It was nice to ease back into work and not be thrown in head first. It took a while to remember all of this random immigration knowledge that I've collected uninterupted for the last 8 years. Some things are definitly not second nature anymore and require a bit of mental review to remember exactly how it all works, but its slowly coming back.

The early days also became a little easier as the week went on (I hadn't woken up for the day before 7:30am since the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.) and we developed a nice little routine. I woke up and showered and got ready while Elliott slept. I then went back in for his last 'night' feeding about 6:45am and then left for work about 7:00am. Elliott then stayed asleep until his normal wake up time between 8 and 8:30...or sometimes a little later. I am hoping to incourage this morning schedule as long as possible, for both my sake on the weekend and Brad's sake during the week. I know a lot of kids end up early risers, so hopefully, we can delay a crazy early (6:00am) wakeup time from developing.

By the end of the week I also had a really good pumping system worked out. I pump soemtime between 9-9:30, 12-12:30 and 3-3:30. The first day I washed out all the parts between each use and quickly realized that this was not a sustainable option. I was also unpacking and repacking my whole bag each time, since I was using an office that is also used for other things. Again, not good for the long term. I ended up taking over an empty attorney office (it doesn't have a computer, which is why I initially tried a different office) and I keep my bag mostly ready to use in that office during the day. I have a note on the top of it, so that if someone does come in and sees a rather odd black bag under the desk, they don't have to open it up to realize what it is. I am also not washing out my parts between pumping sessions. Apparently since milk is fine at room temperature for a few hours, I decided a little left in the parts is also fine. So after each session, I pour all the milk into a bottle and put it in the fridge. And I have a little insulated bag I got from the hospital that I can take the milk home in at the end of the day. I've been able to bring home at least 11oz each day so far and he's now drinking just about everything I make the next day. The biggest thing I'm finding is that it really does tie me down during the day. I never felt that way nursing him, but pumping is very restricting. I can't go outside at lunch time (which anyone who has worked with me knows is usually a must for me, even if its just to my car) because there isn't enough time and going out to lunch is out of the question unless I want to stay late, which at this point I do not...I'm bolting out the door as it is at 4:00pm each day. I'm just telling myself that the next couple months will be the hardest. I'm sure that once he starts eating solids, the amount of milk I will need to provide will slowly go down the more he eats. So for now, it is what it is and at least it is a nice (required) quiet part of my day.