5 months

This update post is going to have a little different focus. In the last month, Elliott has just gotten bigger, better, smarter, stronger, sharper, cuter, hairier, chubbier and more. You name it and it is better and easier than last month. The only exception being the teething and well, really, what is there to say about that. It happens, its happening and he will eventually have teeth.

So with that, I wanted to talk about me. With what I normally post about around here, one might think that its all baby all the time. But really, I still feel remarkably still 'me' and not just 'mama'. The only way I can explain it is as if I grew a third arm. My life was full before. And now its as if that new arm is allowing me to do even more. Poor analogy, I know. I guess it could be akin to how love grows. You fall in love and you think its not possible to love someone any more. And yet the years go by and you realize that you love them even more. And then a few more years go by and you love them even more still. You are just capable of more and more. That's how I feel today.

I've been thinking a lot about what I felt like when Elliott was first born mainly because my dear friend is going through it right now. I've been remembering what it felt like when I realized that they were going to just let us leave that hospital with a baby. As if the preceding day and a half had given the skills we needed to raise a child! And that first sleepless night at home when the fact that it was finally 7am meant that I had made it. And how everything was just bigger. Every little thing seemed monstrously huge. In the beginning it was a good day if I got a shower by 4:00pm...just a shower, no makeup, no hair, nothing else, just a shower. Now I marvel that I can not only get myself ready, but I can make it to work in the morning by 7:30am just like before and (generally) without issue.

Today I feel like a rock star. My time away from home helps me appreciate my work and what I do for so many people every day. And when I come home, its simply amazing. It truly (at least usually) feels like the best of both worlds. Now would I rather stay home with Elliott everyday if that kind benefactor finally showed up and offered to support our humble lifestyle? Absolutely. But, as I've said before, I need to be at work right now and Brad needs to be at school right now and I'm totally behind it all. Elliott's not going anywhere and neither is the next little person who will come along someday. I still get to spend some wonderfully quality time with him every day, which makes that time with him even more special to me. Plus, there really is something to be said for that confidence of knowing your baby and knowing how far you've come from the beginning. It is allowing me the perspective to know that any strange little stage he might be going through is only temporary. I needed friends and family to tell me that at the beginning, but now I know its true, which means we are much more mellow parents.

And speaking of Brad...Brad has quickly become just as proficient at 'mothering' as I am. There is no reason why a dad can't be as equally comfortable caring for a baby as a mom. And our situation at home is proving this point to a T. Neither of us had any idea what we where doing going into it, so really we both started out on even ground. In the beginning I had to learn faster because I was home on leave and Brad was in the middle of a semester (in which he got 4 straight A's I might add!). But now, he's right there with me. He's giving me feeding pointers and diaper pointers (and yes, Krista, we totally had a discussion about the general qualities of different diapers the other day! ;) He even washed out his first diaper blow out today. I'm so pleased that its working out for Brad to be able to care for Elliott during the work week and it looks like (due to the budget cuts and restricted course offerings) he'll be able to continue to do this through the end of the year.

As for other things going on. Our place is still a mess. Nearly a week later and they are still trying to get everything dried out. Although, I'm secretly hoping the attempt to dry out the kitchen cabinets will fail...Dude, dark brown fake butcher block laminate is way over. The cabinets are really the worst thing about this place. So yeah, kinda hope they go ;) We've also finally got my car up for sale. Its bitter sweet. Neither of us really wants to sell it. But we also don't want to miss the opportunity to extract some cash from its sale to put towards our 'house' fund as well as get that badly needed four-door. So she's washed, smogged and ready to go to a good home. And she will be missed.